Another Rant (Sorry)

In the past two years I’ve heard a lot of kids I go to school and socialize with have been talking about how they’re going to “move out as soon as they turn 18” because they either want freedom or disagree with their parents in some way. What a lot of kids don’t realize , though, is that it’s way harder than they probably think to move out and be completely independent straight out of high school. I have a full time job right now and can barely afford the expenses I do have even though I live with my family. I could probably afford to move in with a roommate, but I’d have to starve and not have any disposable income whatsoever. Juggling college classes on top of that would even exacerbate the situation, which is why I stay at home so I can accept help from my family if I need it.

It’s not shameful to take help from your parents after you turn 18 and graduate, because they more than anyone understand how financially difficult to be straight out of high school trying to figure your life out. The 2 friends I do have living completely independent of their parents right now actually chose not to attend college as of right now because it’s impractical and impossible to have a full time job and attend school.

Before you decide to run away from your family simply for freedom, take your finances and emotional stability into account because being on your own is harder than it actually seems.

Just stop

Reading Frankenstein kind of makes me mad, and maybe it’s because I’m lame, but I really hate when people mess with science just for the hell of it. Some things are better left unknown, and further messing with tricky concepts such as reanimation should seem like a flat out terrible idea to anyone, especially to a super intelligent man such as Victor. Did he think he was going to make friends with this creature or that somehow it would be a subservient being? Was he under the impression that he would have total and complete control over the creature? Or was he just screwing around for the sake of it? The book doesn’t go into that TOO well and it kind of just irks me. It makes me feel boring and old, but in most cases, I would rather science not go out of control with “discoveries” and unnecessary research.  As a reference, the movie iRobot, while pretty bad in terms of cinema, did have a lot of frightening truth behind it. Eventually our advances are going to get us in trouble in one way or another, whether that be with robots or something as simple as reanimating dead tissue. Science is helpful in that it can aid us in solving important issues we are facing but can be dangerous in that we are messing with the unknown.

Every time I read this book I want to punch Victor in the throat, basically.

Stuff

I’ve always been set up for success. I attended a high tuition K-12 school on an academic scholarship, benefited from private tutoring, and above all had immense support and help from my family throughout my academic career. Despite this, I’m ready to take matters into my own hands and be responsible for my own success. I am the one who is going to be living with the choices I make for the rest of my life, and I want to be proud of them and have the ability to take accountability for them myself.

I have always had an interest in Funerals the process of after-death planning. My dad worked in a Funeral Home, so it’s something I grew up around and grew accustomed to being in that kind of environment. What other people might find gruesome or morbid, I find comforting and normal. I want to coordinate services families will be proud of and be involved in a very pivotal, and turning point of some people’s lives.

The Funeral Service industry is a very tough one to handle, involving lots of hands-on schooling and psychological stress. I have always had very thick, something which I think is necessary to have in order to be around such morbid sights all day. Death to me is simply the end of a life. Just as flowers wilt and die, we do as well, and to me I would rather preserve the memories that flower is associated with than throw it in the trash to fester and rot.

Christmas Break Please

I am honestly just so tired I do now know what to do with myself. I can feel my body just quitting, it’s like “kbye I’m outtie”. I am so ready for winter break so I can just give myself some much needed TLC and actually get some sleep. Between work, school, and responsibilities, I maybe get 5 hours of sleep if I’m lucky. I’m dozing off writing this right now actually.

I’m especially tired after Black Friday being that I worked 12 hours around a bunch of crazy, annoying middle class moms fighting over embarrassing things. People are so dumb. Sure, Black Friday has a lot of savings to offer, but prices also go up on some items on Black Friday and shoppers are none the wiser because they’re tired and blindly convinces that they’re saving money simply because it’s been pumped into their heads for so long.

I also feel really bad because typically I don’t drink very many energy drinks, but try to stick to coffee and tea. With how much sleep I haven’t been getting and how much time I spend at work, though, I typically drink about 2-3 energy drinks per day. It feels like drinking gasoline and makes me feel gross, but you gotta do what you gotta do I guess. I’m not sure if I even have the energy to leave my bed without throwing a hissy fit haha. Luckily I do have an energy drink in the fridge and hopefully that’ll help me get through the first part of the day.

My strained relationship with my dad should be no stranger to this blog, as I vent about it all the time. He disappeared from my life when I was 9 or 10, and we have not spoken since until today. As I was heading back to the break room for lunch at work my phone buzzed and I saw that I had a Facebook message from my dad. This was the first time I’ve heard from him in 8 years and it shook me up a little bit.

The message basically said that he had left his wife of 15 years and that he was sorry for everything he had put me through and that he missed me. I still haven’t responded to him because I have no idea what to say and I’m honestly really angry with him. I’ve had the same home phone number basically my whole life, and my mom has the same cell phone number she’s has since I was 8, yet he sends me a message over FACEBOOK, to say that he’s finally left his horrible wife and that he’s sorry. He left my mom and I to go start his dream family and now that that is falling apart he’s realized the damage he’s done and suddenly feels bad for it?

Nah ah sorry that is not how it works.

Your half-assed apology will never make up for the pain that you have caused me and all the times I felt like an unloved mistake. Stay away from me.

Rape of The Whaaaat

I am extremely confused. I’m sitting here reading and re-reading The Rape of The Lock and wondering what in the heck is going on in this poem. I understand certain parts of it and I get the satire, but there are certain elements that completely and utterly confuse me to the point where I want to scream and throw this book across the room, but it is way too heavy and I’m not very physically fit. I understand how Pope is mocking the society he lived in and how people made large battles out of unimportant issues yet remained idle about the pressing issues. What I don’t really understand is how or why all of these extra characters are necessary and pertinent to the story.

I even resorted to something I don’t, spark notes. I’m usually too proud to look at spark notes, but I was unable to come to any conclusions by myself and was really frustrated. The spark notes didn’t really help though, they actually just confused me more and got me more off track than I originally was. Now I’m sitting here blogging about it rather than try and understand it anymore because I just don’t have the patience at this point.

Hamlet was tough, but this is for me at least, very very different from Hamlet and way more difficult to understand. This language seems a little simpler, but in my opinion it’s much harder to understand than Shakespearean text.