I feel like throughout elementary and middle school, I as well as most of us had always been told I was a great writer. My teachers made me feel like this special little snow flake even though I wrote very generically and stuck to the same boring model I had been taught in 5^th grade.  The more I have talked to people in my class, the more I realize just how many of us were misled by our middle school teachers. The motives behind it are unclear, whether it was to lift our spirits or if they truly just thought we were awesome,  I don’t know. All I know is that it left me severely unprepared for my high school English career.

Junior year I walked into Mahr’s class cocky and ready to take home an A, but oh boy was I wrong. I thought I had this on lock because, after all, I was a genius snow flake English student and I was definitely going to have no trouble with an English class. That was the hardest class I’ve probably ever taken. Mahr snapped me back into reality and showed me what it takes to become a good writer, not a fill-in-the-blanks mold that would guarantee I sounded like a half-intelligent robot. I learned that the way I had been writing was boring, repetitive, and actually pretty stupid.

Even though having my emotions babied through middle school definitely didn’t help me prepare for high school or the difficult world of AP, I am now on my way to becoming a halfway decent writer.

AAAHHHHHHHHH

I’ll be turning 18 in a week, and I’m kind of nervous to be honest. I know not much will change considering I pretty much am already self-sufficient, but it’s still I big change. It’s a big turning point in my life, and it’s making me realize just how close I am to being done with high school. No one really prepares you for adulthood, I feel totally not ready to have all of these responsibilities put onto my shoulders. Now I can go to prison (scary, I wouldn't do very well in prison), my family can kick me out if they wanted to, and I can buy cigarettes (I don’t smoke, but still that’s scary).

I am excited for the freedom though, I’m happy I can now do things without getting my mom’s permission, go to 18+ events, and work in a lingerie shop, which is something I’ve wanted to do for a while. I remember being really young and looking forward to turning 18 and feeling like it was so far away, and now it’s only 9 days away. It amazes me how time has gone by so fast, it feels like not that long ago I was walking into AACT for the first time, and in a few months I’ll be leaving here for good.

I’m really nervous to be thrown into adulthood, but I’m also really excited to go off on my own and experience everything for myself and start my own life.

But seriously, I can go to prison now. 

I used to always think that poetry was something easy and kind of second nature to everyone. I never really understood until high school that poetry was something that took a lot of effort and a lot of meditation, as well as required a certain amount of skill which I do not ave.

Anyone can string a bunch of words together and make them rhyme, but ultimately that’s not what poetry is all about. Good poetry provokes thought and stays with you long after you read it.

 Ever since I was young, I have always been a fan of Emily Dickinson. My mom raised me reading her writing, and certain ones have always stuck with me. Throughout elementary and high school, I did every did every History or English project on her, eventually knowing her life story like it was my own. Over the years, I’ve carried many of her poems with me in my head, creating and thinking of new meanings for them every time I think of them. This is hard to accomplish with simple rhyme-y 6 line poems written for children’s illustrated books.

Whenever I hear someone say that poetry is easy or EVERYONE can write awesome poems, it makes me doubt if they themselves have ever sat down and read a really good, deep poem. Because whenever I do, I have to simply appreciate it because I know that is something so intellectually out of my reach.